GOT A GOOD JOKE ? ? ?

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

boorad.....
he should say "i want some sunglasses, please. how much are they?"
nathan

TMOV · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:36 pm Post subject:

dleet

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

haha.....yes i thought so too. i believe i am the next coming of johann sebastian bach, wolfgang amadeus mozart, m.c. escher, kurt godel, or albert einstein. take your pick!!

TMOV · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:01 pm Post subject:

dleet

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

Good un, TMOV...

BTW...here's the IQ test answer...

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple. Laughing

If you got this wrong...please go dig a hole and hide.

BooRad

TMOV · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:37 pm Post subject:

dleet

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

I think I'm still a little foggy from last night. I didn't see page 2...sorry nothong69. Embarassed

you were the 1st to enter in the correct IQ test answer! Way to go, NOTHONG69!!!!!!!!!!!

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

think I'll just stick to trying jokes...I may not have the IQ to administer IQ test! Confused

Have you heard this one:

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful
doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after
having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to
give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in
the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading
the Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see
very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite
the entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to
pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but
it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the
parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only
one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it
could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing
and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just
the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to
give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank
you."

TMOV · Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:00 am Post subject:

dleet

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

Prime Minister's Wife Makes a Faux Pas

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer... and no one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, 'appiness!'"

nathan

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

here's another one.....hopefully not too explicit for this forum. but judging from the first joke in this thread (which, by the way, tmov, was hiLArious!!), i would think this would be ok........

TARZAN

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

hope you guys enjoy 'em!!!!

TMOV · Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:21 pm Post subject:

dleet

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

And how bout this one...

A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer. He said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but your desire for worldly things offends me. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy."

After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

BooRad

TMOV · Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:40 pm Post subject:

dleet


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