Featured Commentary:
Pulling the Trigger

by Bill Gray, CCSP Staff Writer
May 13, 2004

I’ve got my own problems…. How about you?

When it goes bad it goes really bad… have you ever found that. I had a week of crisis. Personal attacks, accusations, wrong turns and blame and last but not least… my son never wishes to talk to me again.

Sounds like a Mills and Boon novel only what happened to me was real life and there was no beautiful maiden swooning after me (where are they when you need them?)

My son runs a website that creates enough money for him to live on (or so he says). Nothing wrong with that, I hear you say! There are probably thousands of people who would like to be in the same boat except for one thing… his website is one promoting terror

The keyword he uses are….

anarchy, weapons, bombs, drugs, combat, homemade, pranks, revenge, spying, lockpicking, carding, crime, fake id, anarchy cookbook, anarchist cookbook, the big book of mischief, terrorists handbook, explosives.

Now I have tried to get my head around this… you know the old story, freedom of speech, the right to say whatever you like… but it doesn’t work… it doesn’t work for me anyway. I still disagree with this website. It promotes anarchy and terror and hides behind the guise of providing information. The funny thing is that this site promotes anarchy. Per the dictionary anarchy is

1. Absence of any form of political authority.

2. Political disorder and confusion.

3. Absence of any cohesive principle, such as a common standard or purpose.

Now this anarchy site has rules and regulations that if you dare to break, they will ban your access. Hmmmm sort of goes against the very thing they believe

There is a very interesting point that seems to be a common occurrence with all these sites. While they say they provide all this information that is so necessary for us (that’s what they say) they are never able to provide their real identity. They provide this information and hide behind a cloak of anonymity. No real names, no real addresses.

If someone believes in something and is prepared to speak up, or provide a website, why is it necessary to hide?

Faith

My article last week… Doing Time on Planet Earth created quite a stir judging by the emails I received. There was a common thread that revolved around the idea that I was trying to convince people that they should change their belief in their faith.

Can I assure one and all that I have no such wish. In fact I support your faith totally. That isn’t to say that I wish you to remain stagnant in your life, far from it. I am asking you to ask yourself the questions that may open the door to a life that fully embraces your faith as well as improving on the things that you feel could be improved on.

…and something different

“Lindy didn''t want to sit through a two-hour movie smelling the subtle scent of David''s cologne and remembering that night at his place three months ago. It was too embarrassing and hurtful to believe that what had been an incredible experience for her had meant nothing to him….” Whoops sorry, that was the Mills and Boon Novel

Shifting from Reacting to Responding

Now getting back to my week, I always find that I end up looking at how I react or respond to a challenge. After all, how the other person reacts or responds is not something that helps me (apart from me noticing and wanting to act that way (or not)

The other week we looked at being in the Present. There is a lot to be said for this "being in the Present" "Perfecting the Present"

I am reading a book at the moment called "Clients Forever" and it is working the idea that for anyone to be successful in what they do, they must create relationships rather than sell things or make things. If you can create this relationship, you will have a client for life, whatever your profession or career.

As you can imagine, the idea sounds great in theory and moving onto putting the idea into practice, well that’s another story... or is it?

The book explains the idea of creating this relationship. It first of all asks you to clear yourself up, get yourself in the present, get clear on who you are.

Now I want everyone to hold your hand out in front of you, palm upwards, fingers gently curled up, as if you are holding a big lump of dough. Now in this hand is all the reasons under the sun why you don''t live the life you wish, all the reasons why you don''t live in the present.

These are ideas like...
Its just the way I am
I''m still better off than most people
Well, I''m happy, aren''t I?
I''ll be able to retire early
How do you know, anyway?
Its not worth being too successful, you pay too much tax

are you starting to get the idea???

So all those ideas, excuses and the like are cupped in your hand right now. What I want you to do is to now, holding your hand as if its holding all these ideas, put it over your face, clamp it on and look out at the view. Pretty difficult, aye?

You see, that’s how we are looking at the world, through all these ideas. Its like, as you can see, there are plenty of dark spots blocking the view

All those dark spots are getting in the way of perfecting in the present.

So lets get down and personal............

What are some examples of these dark spots in your life?
they are like the tentacles of a squid stuck on your face, sure you pull a few off but before you know it, they have crept back up on there

Now lets have a look at removing a few of these tentacles stuck on our face, how do we do this?
What we are hoping to achieve is moving from reacting to the situation with guns blazing, using the squid stuck on our face through to responding (without tentacles) to what is really there.

reactive vs. responsive

Lets look at these two words, what would be some examples of the two??

People respond with their soul, their inner self, their heart, people react with their mind. People respond when they have time and there is no threat (or at the earliest stages of a threat) People react when its too late. You know its a response when you have plenty of time to make changes, to correct something, to protect yourself or to create something. If its instinctive, its a reaction likely based on some threat

Reaction: What happens automatically following a stimulus
Response: What happens after you have time to ask a question and act consciously
Over-response: What happens when you shape your response to address the deepest causes of what has happened or what you have felt

Action Steps to Take:

• When you find yourself in reaction, involve yourself in it fully. Go to “wow, what is this”? Be curious like a child in a candy store. Move into the observation to learn more about yourself.
• Notice how often you react vs. respond. • What kinds of things cause you to be reactive?
• Consciously over-respond to either a problem or an opportunity.

Building

..and so my week continues. I spent a couple of days building (yes, actually banging in nails) These days its not so much banging as pulling the trigger. Nail guns have taken the daily chore out of driving a 4 inch nail into timber. While the tools of trade have progressed, the one thing that has stayed the same is action. You actually have to do something before a house is built. All the thinking in the world doesn’t build a house. Yet pick up one piece of timber and nail it to another piece or timber and you are that much closer to having the house of your dreams

Now there’s a lesson in there somewhere

Maybe next week I will have worked out what it is
Cheers…. Bill


by Bill Gray aka Blast, ComputerCops Staff Writer

Bill is a Business Coach. Working with Businesses and Organisations to create better environments and to develop and enhance business 'potential', into successful business practices.

Website in the Company of Coaches

Copyright ©Bill Gray All Rights Reserved 2004.