Follow the money...

PanenDeist · Cadet Joined: Jan 10, 2004 Posts: 6 Location: USA

Four very successful TV preachers went golfing together one day. As three of the preachers gathered onto the first green, the fourth went to the clubhouse office to pay the fees.

All of the preachers had very successful sons and the first preacher declared, "Have you heard about my son? He is a real estate invester and is SO successful that he recently gave a close friend of his a new house FOR FREE!"

Not to be outdone, the second preacher said, "That's wonderful! But MY son is also doing very well. He owns a chain of luxury car dealerships and recently gave a close friend of his a brand new Mercedes FOR FREE!"

The other preachers all congratulated this preacher for his son's success and the third preacher said, "My son is a VERY successful investment banker and recently gave a close friend an entire investment portfolio FOR FREE!"

About that time, the fourth preacher arrived on the green from the clubhouse. The first preacher said, "We were all just talking about our sons. What does your son do?"

The fourth preacher said, "I'm sorry to say that he is a go-go dancer in a gay bar. He must be doing alright, though, because his last three lovers have given him a new house, a brand new Mercedes and an investment portfolio FOR FREE!"

MrsHoppes · Sergeant Joined: Feb 08, 2004 Posts: 122 Location: USA

And look at what the One True Living Son of God gave us.

PanenDeist · Cadet Joined: Jan 10, 2004 Posts: 6 Location: USA

It was a JOKE, lady.

I'll tell you, I don't know about you fundies.

Here's a riddle for you- Jesus "ascended up into Heaven" to go sit at the right hand of the Father. Where is he right now, at this very moment?

Answer: He's probably still "in transit."

The ascention "event" was alleged to have happened about 2000 years ago. Assuming that the Son of God is traveling at the speed of light- his tunic flapping in the solar wind-, it will take him about 30,000 YEARS just to reach the center our OUR galaxy, The Milky Way (which is just an average size galaxy). If Heaven is located there, he's got another 28,000 years to go on his trip (at the speed of light).

If Heaven is located in one of the other BILLIONS of galaxies in the universe, then it will be about 100,000 YEARS before Jesus gets to the other side of the Milky Way and sets out for one of the others.

No offense, lady, but the real riddle is- How long can you continue to reject REASON and cling to a LITERAL interpretation of the Bible? Probably not as long as the leadership at the church where you are getting your information.

Follow the money...

MrsHoppes · Sergeant Joined: Feb 08, 2004 Posts: 122 Location: USA

What money? My preacher is not a paid preacher. And I am capable of reading the bible myself.

When one tries to put human physical limitations on spiritual principles, one can get confused and unable to see the real Truth in His Word.

chickengirl · Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 4:31 pm Post subject:

(((Mrs. Hoppes))) Lovely to meet you, and read your posts...

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God...

Having gone from being a pagan (and a jezebel to boot!) to Christianity, I have discovered that Christianity is not for wimps, or weenies...It is rather a painful process to wake up and see yourself for what you really are. Unacknowledged sin, keeps one anesthetized...kinda like a sleeping pill...

Luke 19:42 If you had known . . . in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes...

Our Lord doesnt hide these things from us, but we are not prepared to receive them until we are in the right condition in our spiritual life. Jesus said, "I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now" ( John 16:12 ). We must have a oneness with His risen life before we are prepared to bear any particular truth from Him. The evidence that we do is that His Word is becoming understandable to us. God can't reveal anything to us if we dont have His Spirit. And our own unyielding and headstrong opinions will effectively prevent God from revealing anything to us. But our insensible thinking will end immediately once His resurrection life has its way with us.

Ezekiel 12:2 Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not: for they are a rebellious house.

Romans 11:8 According as it is written, God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear; unto this day.

Do I hear snoring?... Rolling Eyes

sommmebodddy's talking in their sleee-ep...
Musta been the pickles... Surprised

Ephesians 5:14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

Our Father is such a Gentleman...He won't wake us, unless we ask. Wink

MrsHoppes · Sergeant Joined: Feb 08, 2004 Posts: 122 Location: USA

(((((Chickengirl)))))
Wonderful to meet a sister. Don't worry about the whole jezebel bit. It's been cast into the sea of forgetfulness. Besides, didn't you see the "no fishing" sign?

And our Father is most certainly a Gentleman. However, He also knows how to give rude awakenings as well. Wink


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