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Blast
1st Responder
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Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 681
Location: A Kiwi in Australia
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Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2004 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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Well there were these two drunks walking home from the pub and the first one said to the second...
"when Iz get home, I'm gunna rip off my wifes knickers, and... and..."
The second drunk speaks up "and why are you going to do that, you are too drunk"
The first drunk replys " because they are cutting me fair in half"
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Blast
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"Timing is the essential factor in the success of any raindance"
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COBBLERS2U
Captain
Premium Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2003
Posts: 370
Location: UK
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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Going to get crowded tonight the Super Bowls on the Big Screen, lets make our American friends welcome and switch I'm a Celeb get me out of here off.
They are going to get drinks all round if they win.
Leave yer Guns behing the bar guys, collect em on the way out of town.
New sawdust on the floor, so if you want to stay the night youre welcome.
No we dont serve Hamburgers, the grease makes the beer go flat!
Have a packet of Pomme Frits instead, the salt on them will make you want to down more beers.
Has the game started yet! |
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k027
1st Responder
Joined: Aug 25, 2003
Posts: 692
Location: USA
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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COBBLERS2U wrote: |
Leave yer Guns behing the bar guys, collect em on the way out of town. |
Here in the US, when you walk into a bar, you are asked if you have a gun. If you say "No", you are given a gun.
COBBLERS2U wrote: |
Have a packet of Pomme Frits instead, the salt on them will make you want to down more beers. |
What, no pork rinds?
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COBBLERS2U
Captain
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Joined: Nov 08, 2003
Posts: 370
Location: UK
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Getting like that here K.
Quite a number of no go areas where guns rule, the only difference is here you are asked if you would like to purchase one"for your own safety guv".
See you are familiar with the Pork Scratching as we know them, dont know that they are popular anymore with so many folk being health consious nowadays.
They are banning adverts for Coke-a-Cola now, it's getting crazy, the obsessive minority will rule the world unless we take a stance.
They will be banning beer next. They've stopped me Shooting and now they are trying to stop me Fishing. If I can't shoot fish drink & sha. then lifes not worth living. My motto is "anything for a laugh" but with political correctness gone mad here the only place you can have a laugh is in the Tavern.
Have a pint on me, youre the only ones who can drink pints with us at the moment as everyones going to Litres. Can I have 500 millilitres just does'nt sound as inviting as a Pint does it. |
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COBBLERS2U
Captain
Premium Member
Joined: Nov 08, 2003
Posts: 370
Location: UK
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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Hope you realise that by mentioning GUNS that we are now being monitored by th FBI and GCHQ in the UK and they are passing info between them (GCHQ is the listening post for the uninitiated). Call in for a drink guys you are welcome! |
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COBBLERS2U
Captain
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Joined: Nov 08, 2003
Posts: 370
Location: UK
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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Blast, can we have some more jokes please, I like Aussie humour and we need spirits lifting in the bar.
"Spirits" someone mention spirits, Me and lilliebets ma will have a whisky please. |
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k027
1st Responder
Joined: Aug 25, 2003
Posts: 692
Location: USA
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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Yes Blast, please hurry with a joke. So far the Super Bowl is gawdawful boring! |
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Blast
1st Responder
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Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 681
Location: A Kiwi in Australia
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Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 1:28 am Post subject: |
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a flea, drinking at the tavern all day and most of the night finally decides to call it a day. He slips off the barstool and crashes and stumbles his way out to the exit, he pushes the door open and dives head first out onto the street. He slowly gets to his feet (do fleas have feet???) shakes his head and screams
" hey shum onez schtolen mi DOG!!!!"
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Blast
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"Timing is the essential factor in the success of any raindance"
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Ikeb
Colonel
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Joined: Apr 20, 2003
Posts: 2457
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 4:11 am Post subject: |
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Sorry Blast, k027 wasn't listening. After 27 minutes of nothing, the game became a super game ... for once!
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Ikester
I like SPAM .... on my sandwich! |
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Blast
1st Responder
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Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 681
Location: A Kiwi in Australia
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Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 4:34 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I saw it. Even down here we had a link up to the Super Bowl. As you said, For once it was a Super game
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Blast
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"Timing is the essential factor in the success of any raindance"
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