GOT A GOOD JOKE ? ? ?

TMOV · Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:02 am Post subject: GOT A GOOD JOKE ? ? ?

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs,...

... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...

The race began...

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...

... Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher...

The crowd continued to yell

"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...

...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher...

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?

It turned out...

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be

negative or pessimistic...

...cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be...

POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfill YOUR dreams!

Always think: I can do this!

Pass this message on to 5 "tiny frogs" you care about.

Give them some motivation!!!

threewood14 · Sergeant Joined: Jan 14, 2004 Posts: 87 Location: USA

all the walmarts in irag are being changed into targets

___________
threewood14

TMOV · Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:09 pm Post subject:

harleywhite · Lieutenant Joined: Feb 05, 2004 Posts: 167 Location: USA

Little Johnny was sitting in class as the teacher announced that today they were conducting a survey of low self esteem related to learning ability.
The teacher then said, " Anyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up." She looked around and saw no one standing. After about a minute, little Johnny stood up. The teacher asked him if he thought he was stupid.
Little Johnny said, "No maam. I just didn't want you to be the only one standing!"

harleywhite · Lieutenant Joined: Feb 05, 2004 Posts: 167 Location: USA

Why do blonde women have bruises around their navels?

Because blonde guys are stupid too

TMOV · Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 12:05 am Post subject:

dleet

threewood14 · Sergeant Joined: Jan 14, 2004 Posts: 87 Location: USA

what is the correct way to pronounce the capital of Kentucky

Loo- ee - ville or Loo-iss-ville

rusticdog · Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2004 9:43 pm Post subject:

Last month, the UN conducted a worldwide survey. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure....

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In Nigeria they didn't know what 'please' meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ENGLISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Western suburbs style....
You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows
You die the first time you try and milk them.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
Who cares, The EU Really owns them now and the pub is still serving

A NEW ZEALND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You don't know what they are used for as they aren't sheep
You shag them anyway.

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

An Ohio couple decided to go to South Texas for a long weekend
to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They reserved a room
at the same beach hotel they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.

FInding it difficult to coordinate schedules it was decided that the
husband would fly to Padre Island on Thursday, and his wife the
following day.

Upon arrival and getting checked in, the husband found that the room
was equiped with a computer so he decided to send his wife an email.

However he accidentally left-out one letter in her email address. Off
into cyber-space went the email without him realizing his error, ending
up in a complete stranger's "In Box" in Houston, Texas.

In Houston, a widow of a minister had just returned from her husband's
funeral. Her dearly departed had been called home to glory following
a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages
from friends and relatives. Upon reading the first message, she fainted.

Hearing a noise, the widow's son rushed into the room, found his mom
on the floor. Upon coming too, she pointed to the computer screen:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Loving Husband
Subject: I've Arrived.

Dearest
You're probably surprised to hear from me. They have computers
here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I've arrived and checked in. I see that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as was mine,
Your loving husband

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

TMOV · Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:51 pm Post subject:

dleet

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

That's, TMOV, for laughin at my joke & your replys. Can't think of anymore good jokes at the moment cause I've got this splitting headache (way too much fun in the tavern last night whacking little penguins!). I'll drop some more in here later after I'm feelin a bit more human. Wink

Thanks again...bye for now...
BooRad

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 141 Location: USA

My brain started workin a bit...here's one to test everyone's IQ...

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and
the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it for a bit and then give me your answer in a reply.
I'll respond later with your IQ score. Idea

BooRad

Now...where did I put my asprins?

k027 · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 9:33 am Post subject:

wawadave · Major Joined: Nov 22, 2002 Posts: 942 Location: Canada

a farmer was calling his hogs at feeding time"Loo- ee Loo- ee come and get it Loo- ee

TMOV · Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:12 pm Post subject:

dleet


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