GOT A GOOD JOKE??? POST IT HERE. DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT?

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 110 Location: USA

and deservedly so...excellent joke thread...hope others join in with some good uns.

Boo

TMOV · Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:05 pm Post subject:

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 110 Location: USA

too late...we already got in!

BooRad

nothong69 · Private Joined: Feb 06, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: USA

tmov.........i ordered those cd's.....thanks for pointing them out!! but just out of curiosity, besides the trial firewall and av software, these critical updates are downloadable off the net right?? but thank you for pointing them out.....

TMOV · Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:21 am Post subject:

BOSS, I CAN'T COME IN TO WORK TODAY.

WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I'VE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ANAL GLAUCOMA!

WHAT THE HECK IS ANAL GLAUCOMA?

I JUST CAN'T SEE MY ASS COMING IN TO WORK TODAY!

ROTFLMAO

TMOV

HANG ON TO ANY OF THE NEW STATE OF TEXAS QUARTERS.
THEY MAY BE WORTH MORE THAN JUST TWENTY FIVE CENTS.

THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT IS RECALLING ALL OF THE TEXAS QUARTERS THAT ARE A PART OF THEIR PROGRAM FEATURING QUARTERS FROM EACH STATE.

TREASURY UNDERSECRETARY JACK SHACKLEFORD SAID ON FRIDAY "WE ARE RECALLING ALL OF THE TEXAS QUARTERS THAT WERE RECENTLY ISSUED,THIS ACTION IS BEING TAKEN DUE TO THE NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS THAT THE QUARTERS WOULD NOT WORK IN HIGHWAY TOLLBOOTHS, VENDING MACHINES,PARKING METERS,PAY PHONES AND SOME OTHER COIN OPERATED DEVICES".

THE QUARTERS WERE ISSUED AS COMMEMORATIVE COINS MINTED AND RELEASED IN THE ORDER THAT THE INDIVIDUAL STATES HAD JOINED THE UNION AND ARE VERY POPULAR WITH COIN COLLECTORS WORLDWIDE.

THE PROBLEM LIES IN THE UNIQUE DESIGN OF THE TEXAS QUARTER WHICH WAS DESIGNED BY GRADUATE ENGINEERING STUDENTS AT THE FAMOUS TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY.

UNDERSECRETARY SHACKLEFORD SAID THAT THE DUCT TAPE HOLDING THE TWO DIMES AND A NICKEL TOGETHER WERE JAMMING- UP EVERY COIN OPERATED MACHINE.

OldGuy · Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:45 am Post subject:

I've seen those critical updates.

Microsoft calls em Windows XP.

Planer · Trooper Joined: Feb 24, 2004 Posts: 12 Location: Canada

THE OLD GAS STATION

The service station trade was slow. The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick. Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir? The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on, and nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there but only stayed a minute,

Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car. Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log -- jumped the stream The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees Caught on a sassafras sprout.
She tripped and fell -- got up, and then In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set And then the devilish guy,
Would stop his whittling long enough, To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear
"Will you please use the other hole, We're painting under here

Planer

TMOV · Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:46 pm Post subject: out house

PLANER YOU'RE KILLIN' ME.

LMAOROTF
T

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 110 Location: USA

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit
Mexico.

Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The
country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start
with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

The European community is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million
replacement Mexicans.

Senior' BooRad

TMOV · Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 10:35 pm Post subject:

BooRad · Sergeant Joined: Feb 13, 2004 Posts: 110 Location: USA

si, senor...soy muy malo! gracias usted por el elogio muy bueno...

ĄFijaré más bromas más adelante, amigo... pero para ahora, debo golpear el heno!

BooRad

TMOV · Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2004 10:59 pm Post subject:

harleywhite · Sergeant Joined: Feb 05, 2004 Posts: 103 Location: USA

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. The bartender says, "you can't bring that monkey in here!" The monkey's owner says, "It's ok, he's tame I assure you" The bartender says, "ok, but any trouble and I'll toss you both out." About an hour later, the bartender sees the monkey over by the billard tables. He watches as the monkey grabs a cue ball and swallows it. The bartender starts yelling and cursing and orders them to leave. The monkey's owner says, "It's ok, in a couple of days, when he passes it, I'll wash it off and return it."

About a week later the guy walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "There is no way that you are bringing that monkey back in here." The monkey's owner says, " It's ok, I'll keep him here with me." He asks for some peanuts and the bartender gives him a bowl of them. The monkey takes one, sticks it up his butt and then eats it. The bartender is disgusted by this and says, " Why did he do that?" The monkey's owner says, "ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything!"


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